Answer Gently

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – (Proverbs 15:1, NIV)

A gentle answer makes anger disappear, but a rough answer makes it grow. – (Proverbs 15:1, ERV)

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels. – (Proverbs 15:1, TLB)

 

Both my mother, and her mother before her, modeled this verse in action for us growing up. On countless occasions, I witnessed each of them diffuse situations, simply by meeting someone kindly, who was engaging with them in a way that did not begin on the kindest of terms. Their smile and genuine love for people would soften the hardest of hearts, and win over the grumpiest of characters. For me, more times than not, a gentle response to a child escalated in the classroom, has provided them room to calm down or breathe long enough to avoid further incident. Walking this road to recovery with mom is no different. Losing mobility, freedom and independence, for a strong, self-sufficient, care-giver like mom, has got to be beyond frustrating. She is handling it gracefully 99% of the time, and it is my charge to be extraordinarily gentle through the 1%, when her frustration gets the better of her. Gentle words affirming her frustration, yet recognizing her strength and progress, have been pivotal in working through moments of challenge. Humor has been a lifeline as well. Thankfully, we know each other better than anyone else, so a mere look speaks volumes, and can inspire giggles in an instant, even in moments of madness.

Much of the reason she is not feeling ready for visitors, (other than the very short list of family and lifelong friends whom have already been in contact), is her own desire to uphold a spirit of gentleness and kindness, as she cannot wrap her head around not being able to be the gracious host that she normally would be. Please continue to be patient with her willingness to see visitors, as I imagine she will become more willing as she is more confident and settled back in her own space.

Today will be the first official day of in-home therapies, as physical therapy kicks off this afternoon at 1pm. We are eagerly awaiting phone calls from the occupational therapist, speech therapist and nursing care facilitator, to figure out what the schedule will be for them as well. Yesterday was a very relaxing day, as mom and I enjoyed watching a few movies between meals, stretching and rests, after the fellas went home. This week will be busy, as we work to discover a new normal with appointments coming into the home to aid in mom’s recovery. May we ever rely on the Lord to be gentle with those around us, for kindness keeps anger at bay.

 

No matter what comes, photo

Be gentle and kind;

For we do not know,

Battles deep inside.

So often anger,

Is hurt or a fear;

Set free by kindness,

If love braves draw near.

Seek to have courage,

To always be kind;

Give love to others,

And true peace, you’ll find.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that a gentle answer turns away anger. Thank You that this is not simply a theory, but proven, time and time again. Thank You that Jesus modeled this for us throughout His life, death, resurrection and ascension. Forgive us for the times that our responses are not gentle or kind. Teach us to trust and rely on You to give us the wisdom and strength to be Your heart and voice to others, so that they may see Your love in the way that we respond. Show us how to love others well, as we choose to be gentle and kind to all, no matter how others speak or act toward us. Give us grace O God. May many come into a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, as we choose kindness and love, just as You do with us. Amen.

 

© Shannon Elizabeth Grabrick and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

 

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! – Galatians 5:22-23

Joy and Trust

Bring joy to Your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in You. – (Psalm 86:4, NIV)

My Lord, I put my life in Your hands. I am Your servant, so make me happy. – (Psalm 86:4, ERV)

Restore joy to your loving servant once again, for all I am is Yours, O God. – (Psalm 86:4, TPT)

 

What a wild ride the last twenty-four hours have been! The day began in anticipation, knowing that we would be bringing mom home to her house by the day’s end. As with any scenario that has a plan, the plan never works out exactly as one thinks it might. On our way to the acute care facility, my sister and I had to stop at a medical supply store to check on a few things to be delivered to the house, just prior to our scheduled arrival. Due to the close timing of the two, we had decided to drive two cars, just in case. While in the store, we noticed a device that appeared to be a genius invention, took a photo, and brought it back to show mom’s favorite physical therapist. She concurred that it would indeed be a fantastic idea for mom, and proceeded to have the attending physician write a prescription for it, so that insurance could cover the cost. In between this process, mom’s temporary wheelchair was delivered, and it was a “hot mess”. Megan and I looked at it, and something in me rose up (I am guessing the fierce mama bear protector) and I very firmly refused to receive the chair, letting the poor delivery guy know that it simply would not work for mom. This began my somewhat comedic quest to retrieve all of the appropriate supplies to help make certain we had what we needed to take mom safely home. First, I visited the Knights of Columbus, a Catholic organization of retired men that offers free medical supplies to anyone who needs them. The gentlemen that run the place are some of the kindest and most helpful fellas you will ever meet. Not only did they have the walker I was looking for, but the armrest piece that I was given the prescription for as well. My entire demeanor was transformed as I had such a kind exchange with the gentleman who shares a birthday with mom, but is ten years her senior. Joy along the journey through the kindness of strangers. Next, I went back to the medical supply store to see if I could straighten out the wheelchair situation and bring back something that would work to mom. The sales representative was kind and helpful, and very willing to make things work. It was quite an endeavor to fit the wheelchair in my Jeep, but somehow, it happened. I am fairly certain that when I unloaded the supplies at the acute care place, it looked a bit like the clowns exiting a tiny car act at the circus, as large equipment was being pulled from the small space in my vehicle. No more than twenty minutes after I had been back with mom and Meg, we received the call from the delivery truck driver at mom’s house. They were supposed to call when they were on the way, but had not; so off I went again to let the guy in to set up the garage ramp and receive supplies. By the time I returned to the hospital, Megan was walking to the parking lot to get the car to begin loading up to leave. At long last, we were on our way. Once we finally arrived home, mom was completely exhausted. All she wanted to do, was rest in her own bed. All of the anticipation, the hurry up and wait, the preparation, and transportation, at last had brought her to her own space. We sat at the kitchen table together for dinner, then in the living room to watch a movie before we were all ready for bed. It was a very good end to an extraordinarily long day.

As for the now what, that is the portion of placing our trust in His hands. We are in uncharted territory, and having to navigate a whole different sort of new. Already this morning, we are witnessing the potential challenges to being home. Mom is a strong independent woman, and not used to asking for help. Thankfully we bought monitors and I am a very early riser. Shortly after I had risen to get coffee and sit down to do my devotions and begin writing, I heard mom stirring. I walked back to her room to check on her, and she was sitting up in bed, moved to the edge, as if to hop out of bed on her own. (She is not safe or able to do that yet, so it could have been a very bad scene) As I greeted her, helped her transfer to her chair and make way to the restroom, Megan heard us and came in to help as well. There is joy in the journey and we trust our lives in His hands. He is good, and His love never fails.

 

Joy in the journey,

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Mom relaxing on the couch, watching a movie. ❤

On this path we roam;

Seeking and trusting,

As You lead us home.

Show us the best way,

Each step we’re to take;

Strength each new morning,

Love that won’t forsake.

Glorious, His grace,

His peace is divine;

There’s no greater love,

That we’ll ever find.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that we can trust in You in every situation and circumstance that comes our way. Thank You that our lives are in Your hands. Thank You that joy is a gift that You deposit deep within our soul, rather than something circumstantial and dependent on what happens in our day-to-day lives. Forgive us for allowing anything to steal our joy or take away our trust in You. Teach us how to trust more, as You alone are worthy of all of our trust. Show us how to love those around us in a way that spreads joy and demonstrates trust. May many come into a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, as we walk out this journey in joy and trust. Amen.

 

© Shannon Elizabeth Grabrick and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

 

Splendor and majesty are before Him; strength and joy are in His dwelling place. – 1 Chronicles 16:27

To Lead with Listening

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. – (James 1:19, NIV)

My dear brothers and sisters, always be more willing to listen than to speak. Keep control of your anger. – (James 1:19, ERV)

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. – (James 1:19, MSG)

 

Who would have known how necessary and true these words would be in our present circumstances? Though I know that anger can be a stage of grief, the flashes of anger that I have experienced have been out of fierce protection, as people have not understood mom’s need for space and rest as she heals. Countless times, I have had to take deep breaths, listen to His still small voice, and speak with kindness to explain that mom is not able to have guests visit when she is tired or resting or simply not ready to see visitors at this time. I imagine it is extraordinarily difficult as one of mom’s friends, as she loves and is loved well by so many. As she transitions to her home this coming week, mom will need time to adjust to being back in her own environment and find her “footing” in her own space, before she is ever ready to receive visitors. Please do not just “drop by” or “come say hi”, or you will be met by one of her girls who is doing everything they can to listen before speaking and keep anger in check, but push too much, and you may see a ginger, snap.

Mom is continuing to work tirelessly in her therapies, as she is determined and focused. Her desire is set on regaining full movement in her right side, and each day she regains a little more strength and control of what was lost. Mom will be released to home in a wheelchair, as she continues to work on relearning how to walk and regain her strength and mobility. We are extremely grateful that her home is a rambler, so little needs to be done to prepare for her return. Additionally, because my sister or I will be with mom at all times, there is room to recognize anything that may need to be done in the future to make mom’s mobility more approachable for her on her own. Time and experience will be our best teachers. Please continue to pray with us for mom’s ongoing healing, for a smooth transition home, for ears to listen, mouths that are slow to speak, and anger to be kept in check as grace abounds so much more.

 

Lord, help us listen,img_2019-05-25_07-57-12278632563012603228.jpg

To be slow to speak;

To hear with our heart,

Let Your love repeat.

Keep anger at bay,

As it tries to rise;

The need to protect,

Fear’s ugly disguise.

God grant us wisdom,

Show us what to do;

To protect and love,

Bring honor to You.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that You call us to listen first, as I imagine that is why we have two ears and only one mouth. Forgive us for speaking without listening to Your still small voice first, or for allowing our anger to get the best of us. Teach us to slow down and breathe; to set all before You and allow You to show us what is righteous anger and what is not; what we are meant to do, and what we are not. Show us how to love people well, even when they do not understand the circumstances or expectations and frustrate us to the point of anger. May our choosing to love point they to a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, as we bring all things before You and choose to listen first and take our time before talking. Amen.

 

© Shannon Elizabeth Grabrick and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

 

 

Be Devoted in Love

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. – (Romans 12:10, NIV)

Love each other in a way that makes you feel close like brothers and sisters. And give each other more honor than you give yourself. – (Romans 12:10, ERV)

Live in true devotion to one another, loving each other as sisters and brothers. Be first to honor others by putting them first. – (Romans 12:10, VOICE)

Be devoted to tenderly loving your fellow believers as members of one family. Try to outdo yourselves in respect and honor of one another. – (Romans 12:10, TPT)

 

This is a timely reminder this morning, as last night, I hit a breaking point. I was frustrated with my sixth-grade students’ seeming lack of buy-in or concern about what we needed to review while I was present in the classroom, there was some sort of flying ant infestation in the backroom off of my classroom, leaving me with stragglers randomly buzzing about the room and landing wherever they chose, my scheduled run – cancelled, a stack of tests that I worked on tirelessly, yet felt as if I barely made a dent in, and then, after I had thrown in the towel and gone to bed, received a phone call from the hospital where mom is, asking if so-and-so could go in and visit mom at 8:30 pm. I nearly snapped. Mom is exhausted by 5:00 pm, and is in bed, ready to sleep, long before 8:30. Though I imagine the individual had the very best of intentions, we have requested NO VISITORS, except our immediate family and the very few friends who already know who they are (whom my sister and I know VERY well). It simply would cause a setback rather than be beneficial, as she must get her rest. I promise we will let everyone know WHEN she is ready and available for visitors. That being said, there were many wonderful things that took place yesterday to report. My art classes were terrific, I had a great time running a few errands with one of my boys, we were able to sit down together as a family for dinner, and I was on the phone with my sister and mom when mom spontaneously decided to lift her right leg in the air and then bend her knee. Megan asked her to repeat it, and she did! This means that her quad is now cooperating as well, and she is that much closer to having regained control in her right leg of the muscles required to walk again!

Our fierce protection of mom’s rest and space is out of devotion and love. She wants to be restored, and restoration comes through both hard work and rest. We are learning that we are willing to do whatever we are able to do, to give mom every opportunity to heal. Each leap of faith that we have taken, God has met us and held us up in His hands. As we continue to press forward toward moving mom home next week, the rigor of her therapies continues to increase, in order to best prepare for all that lies ahead. Once home, the therapy sessions will come to mom, rather than her to them. Her days will likely be just as rigorous; yet, the switch to the comfort and familiarity of her own home ought to provide more automatic responses and far more room to rest.

Please join us in praying for continued miracles in her healing, preparation of her home and heart for transition, and for all that is needed – body, heart, mind and soul, to thrive in her own space. May we ever depend on the Lord to help us be devoted to one another in love; honoring others above ourselves.

 

Ever devoted,

img_2019-05-24_04-42-326003441757431962292.jpg

The three of us a few years ago. ❤

A way to choose love;

Close familial bond,

Place others above.

Look past our own wants,

To what others need;

Choose give out of love,

As the Lord does lead.

For He loves us all,

Grace like no other;

Tenderly we’re loved,

Mercy discovered.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that You show us what it is to be devoted to one another in love. For You loved so much that You sent Your one and only Son. Forgive us for the times that we worry only about ourselves, rather than those around us. Teach us to see others through Your eyes, so that we may have a proper perspective to love according to Your will. Show us how to be devoted in love, and to prefer others in a way that honors You. May many come into a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, as we serve and honor You by loving those around us in a way that honors them and considers their needs. Amen.

 

© Shannon Elizabeth Grabrick and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

 

Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God. – Romans 4:20