The Weight of Loss

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word. – (Psalm 119:28, NIV)

I am sad and tired. Say the word, and make me strong again. – (Psalm 119:28, ERV)

I weep with grief; my heart is heavy with sorrow; encourage and cheer me with Your words. – (Psalm 119:28, TLB)

Loss is heavy, and when it is seemingly out of the blue, it is even heavier. Yesterday, as our professional development day was about to begin, I received news that a dear friend and fellow coach in our league had died. The thing is, she, her twin sister, and several others of us, all grew up doing gymnastics together. A few evenings each week, we would learn, grow, laugh, and be challenged together. As adults, our paths began to intersect again through the world of coaching. Just last spring, we had several of our meets together, so we had enjoyed some quality catch up time. Hearing the news of her death hit hard. She was life and love, joy and kindness to all whom she encountered, and had a way of drawing everyone in with her infectious laughter. As a twin mom, my heart is extra heavy for her twin, as I know the incredible bond that twins have. I can’t help but feel weary from the weight of the loss, yet must cling to the hope that we will see one another again. Her love for the Lord was clear, and she never minced words when speaking the truth in love. To know her was to love her, and I cannot fully wrap my head around her passing. My prayer is that God will be our comfort, especially for her amazing twin sister. May we love a little harder, and be a bit kinder in honor of one who lived love out loud.

You were light and life,

Truth speaker with joy;

Contagious laughter,

Wisdom, loving voice.

Each life that you touched,

Made better by you;

Loved and encouraged,

Your faith proven true.

Lord, be our comfort,

As in loss, we grieve;

Renew our resolve,

To trust and believe.

The comfort I know,

Is found in the space;

Picturing entry,

As Your arms embrace.

Dear Heavenly Father, I cannot even begin to pretend I understand why such an incredible life was cut short, yet I know that she lived out each day with purpose and love. Thank You for the gift of knowing Kimmie, and for the imprint that she forever left on my heart. Hold us up in the weight of the heaviness of loss. Forgive us for allowing opportunities to love pass us by. Show us how to live and love each day, so that no matter how many days we are given, each and every one of them counts. May many come into a lasting relationship with You, for You are where true hope and comfort are found. Be glorified O God, as we seek You to live out each day with the purpose You intended, and give You thanks for the incredible gift that You gave us in our friend. Amen.

© Shannon Elizabeth Grabrick and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

You who are my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me. – Jeremiah 8:18

Holding His Hand

How can one capture,

essence of a soul?

So clearly held up,

a heart to extol.

Though seemingly tough,

there was tender side;

that loved children well,

where peace did reside.

Passion for dancing,

love of horses too;

music filled her heart,

faith and hope pursued.

Generous and kind,

loyalty so true;

heart easily hurt,

then silence ensued.

Yet always with time,

with Him holding hearts;

amends would be made,

provided fresh starts.

Irish eyes that smiled,

with a glint of sass;

infectious laughter,

how I miss this lass.

Now she is dancing,

upon streets of gold;

fight no more needed,

as His hand she holds.

“With a mighty hand and outstretched arm; His love endures forever.” – (Psalm 136:12)

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that each of us are planned with a purpose, and the number of our days are known by You. Please teach us how to make each moment matter, and help our hearts to clearly reflect Your love. Forgive us for our fears and insecurities, and help us to step out boldly into what we are becoming. May our faithful obedience move the mountains that keep longing hearts from receiving. Let all who are lost and looking, be found in You. Amen.

God is so very gracious and kind. He prepares our hearts for that which our head and hands cannot hold. It is a very strange space, and I am feeling a little lost, after so many days of arranging to spend as many moments with Anne as possible. Now that it is no longer, I find myself restless. Weariness has found a home here, and I know that both my body and mind need rest. He has continually held me up, even in the moments that I barely knew how to breathe. My task is to now prepare words to share at Aine’s memorial on the 28th. Public speaking terrifies me, yet the love for my sister in Christ, propels me to trust and power through. Please pray that He will grant me the words to honor Aine and glorify Him. As always, thank you for being such a treasured community in Christ. – Shannon

© Shannon Elizabeth Moreno and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present