The Weight of Grief in the Garden

When He rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, He found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. – (Luke 22:45, NIV)

When He finished praying, He went to His followers. He found them asleep, worn out from their grieving.  – (Luke 22:45, ERV)

When Jesus finished praying, He got up and went to His disciples and found them all asleep, for they were exhausted and overwhelmed with sorrow. – (Luke 22:45, TPT)

I am not sure why I have not ever noticed the phrasing of Luke’s account of what took place in the Garden of Gethsemane before, but why the disciples fell asleep, becomes far more relate-able somehow. The disciples had every reason to be grieving, for they had shared their final meal with Jesus, heard His last words of wisdom, sung their last hymn together, and then heard that one among them would betray Him and another would deny Him… That is some serious heaviness to hold. How often do we find ourselves in the same sort of space? There  are times that the grief is too great, and even as we try to pray, exhaustion takes over, and sleep finds a welcomed win. The disciples, though Jesus had told them what would take place, could likely not wrap their hearts and minds around it all. They were in the throes of the suffering and sorrow-filled part, and could not yet see the glorious hope that would come after the horror Jesus was about to endure. Incredibly, Jesus continued to pray. When Judas and his entourage of Sanhedrin and soldiers arrived to have Jesus arrested, Jesus continued to love as He healed the ear that an over-zealous disciple cut off in His defense. He went willingly, without argument nor needed force, for love led Him to the cross at Calgary.

I paused writing to go run, and ended up having a great discussion about the potential disparity between the four accounts of the disciples’ time in the garden. My running bestie is a nurse, so she reminded me that Luke was a doctor. Between us, we recognized that the other accounts were recorded by fishermen, who likely felt bad for falling asleep, and simply recorded that alone. Luke, however, from a physician’s standpoint, was the most likely to recognize the toll that grief and sorrow take on the body, and reported the occurrence accordingly. Like me, she had not ever noticed the difference in the accounts of what took place, but together, we discussed how it indeed made sense. Many of us find ourselves in a similar space of grief or sorrow. There is loss that we are uncertain how to process, and that weighs heavily, no matter how much we pray. Perhaps this forced slow down season is meant for more than just protecting ourselves from the further spread of a pandemic; maybe, just maybe, this is a season where we are to allow our bodies to sleep when we can fight it no longer, rest up, reflect on what truly matters, and rise up renewed and refreshed, as Jesus carried it all for us and rose again. May we give ourselves grace in our moments of sorrow, grief and exhaustion, and look to the Lord who is the One who strengthens, renews and grants us what we need to rise up restored, once again.

In grief’s heaviness,

Sculpture by Celeste Roberge

We’re burdened and worn;

Exhausted and spent,

In sorrow, forlorn.

Our bodies in need,

Of overdue rest;

Sometimes a shut down,

When sleep is the best.

God knows all our needs,

He loves us with grace;

Refreshes, renews,

And brings brighter days.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that You sent Your Son to show us Your goodness and grace, even in humanity’s most exhausted spaces. Thank You that You love us back to life again, even when our weariness from loss steals our resolve to rise and fight. Forgive us for thinking that we can somehow power through things without giving room for grief. Teach us to lean into You to show us how to properly process, rest and rise again in all that You are calling us to do. Lead us to love others well, so that their burdens may be lessened and their sorrow’s shortened. May many come into a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, as we come to You in our heaviness and seek You for rest and refreshment as You restore and renew us in You. Amen.

© Shannon Elizabeth Grabrick and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word. – Psalm 119:28

Do Away With Distractions to Seek

“Truly I tell you, I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.” – (Matthew 14:25, NIV)

“I want you to know, I will not drink this wine again until that day when I drink it in God’s kingdom and the wine is new.” – (Matthew 14:25, ERV)

“I’ll not be drinking wine again until the new day when I drink it in the kingdom of God.” – (Matthew 14:25, MSG)

 

Jesus spoke these words to the disciples as they were seated and partaking in the last supper, prior to His time in the Garden of Gethsemane and then ultimately, His crucifixion. He knew that it was an evening of lasts, and let the others know, accordingly. When Jesus told them that He would be betrayed by one among them, they seemed to grasp that message in disbelief, yet did not demonstrate a reaction (in writing) to the words Jesus spoke about the timing of His death. It would only be after His death, resurrection and ascension that the significance of Jesus’ statements would really register in the minds and hearts of the disciples. From what I can observe, Jesus did not have anything to eat or drink between the last supper and the crucifixion. Based on the burden that He was choosing to bear, I imagine it was intentional, as Jesus went to the garden to seek time with God, to pray for what was yet to come. We know, according to scripture, that part of what He prayed was for the cup He was meant to carry to be taken from Him if it was possible; yet if not, let it be so. I imagine too, that there were petitions made for strength and help, as Jesus had to endure the weight of the world upon His shoulders. God is faithful, always, and it is difficult to envision the how, when we know what Jesus endured. However, after three days down, He rose again and then ultimately ascended into heaven to be seated at the right hand of the Father. I imagine that the rise and reward for all eternity made the suffering seem but a brief nightmare, in comparison. That being said, it was a burden that not one of us could have carried. In order to carry the weight, we would have had to be without sin. Only Jesus… All that to say, that when the pressure was overwhelming, Jesus set aside physical needs to go and spend time with the Father. Though it was late and had likely been a long day, He cared not about sleep either, as He was intentional to go and pray. Jesus is our ultimate example of what to do. If we have a need, a decision, a challenge, a burden or the like, we ought to set aside our physical desires for a time, so that we may go and pursue the Lord; for our spiritual needs supersede the physical into eternity. May we seek the Lord in all things, for He is our strength and our supply.

 

Set aside the things,

That get in the way;

For a time to seek,

Intent to choose pray.

The Lord is faithful,

He hears all we ask;

He’ll show us the way,

To wait or take task.

Do not grow weary,

As we ask and wait;

For God’s not early,

And He’s never late.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Your Son to show us how to seek You with our whole hearts. Thank You that You are faithful to hear our every request. Thank You that Your answers come in Your time and not ours. Forgive us for our impatience and desire to see immediate answers, when sometimes the wait is part of the healing process. Teach us to trust You more, so that we would be persistent in prayer, and set aside the things that distract us from fixing our eyes on You. Show us how to love those around us in practical and tangible ways. May many come into a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, as we set aside distractions and seek You with our whole heart. Amen.

 

© Shannon Elizabeth Grabrick and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

 

The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace. – Psalm 29:11

 

 

His Strength in the Struggle

Seasons of stress and struggle seem to make us particularly vulnerable to temptation.  Jesus, who is the only perfect example of how to triumphantly traverse times of trial without giving into the snares of sin, modeled a path we all can follow, when He was enduring such agony in the garden of Gethsemane, prior to being betrayed and taken to the cross.

First, Jesus prayed.  Though He asked for the trial to be taken, ultimately, his response to God was: “Abba, Father’, He said, ‘everything is possible for You.  Take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will, but what You will.” – (Mark 14:36)  Jesus trusted in His Father’s power and authority, and submitted His whole being unto Him.

“He took Peter, James and John along with Him, and He began to be deeply distressed and troubled.  ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,’ he said to them.  ‘Stay here and keep watch.” – (Mark 14:33-34) Jesus sought the support of His closest friends and loved ones in His hour of greatest need.  He modeled our need for one another in our times of struggle.

Finally, Jesus remained focused on the purpose that God had given Him.  When He prayed, “Yet not what I will, but what You will,” that was an intentional redirection of His heart and mind toward the purposes that the Father had set before Him.  Though He knew the pain and suffering He was about to endure, He again fixed His eyes on His Father, and on that which He was called to do.

Allow not struggle,

to wear your heart down;

let no temptation,

hide the truth you’ve found.

Pray to the Father,

for mercy and grace;

submit to the Lord,

and all of His ways.

Call too, on close friends,

to gather around;

to pray and support,

’til answers are found.

Focus on purpose,

that God’s called us to;

let not the struggle,

sway the call to do.

Greater is the One,

God who is with us;

Savior, Redeemer,

forever Jesus.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that even when things are difficult, You are present and willing to be our help and our hope.  Thank You that Jesus modeled the way that we are meant to walk through struggles, as He endured far more than we could even begin to imagine.  Help us to stand strong against temptations, and forgive us for seeking only to have You take our struggles away, rather than trusting You to be our strength in the midst of them.  Teach us to trust You more, and show us whom we are to go to for support and encouragement.  Direct our hearts in how we are to hold our focus on the purposes You have planned for us.  May we live and love as You love us, and may many come to know the saving grace provided through a life lived with You.  Be glorified through the way in which we navigate both our struggles and our triumphs.  Amen.

© Shannon Elizabeth Moreno and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present.

Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; … my hope is in You all day long.

– Psalm 25:4-5