The Weight of Grief in the Garden

When He rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, He found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. – (Luke 22:45, NIV)
When He finished praying, He went to His followers. He found them asleep, worn out from their grieving.  – (Luke 22:45, ERV)
When Jesus finished praying, He got up and went to His disciples and found them all asleep, for they were exhausted and overwhelmed with sorrow. – (Luke 22:45, TPT)
I am not sure why I have not ever noticed the phrasing of Luke’s account of what took place in the Garden of Gethsemane before, but why the disciples fell asleep, becomes far more relate-able somehow. The disciples had every reason to be grieving, for they had shared their final meal with Jesus, heard His last words of wisdom, sung their last hymn together, and then heard that one among them would betray Him and another would deny Him… That is some serious heaviness to hold. How often do we find ourselves in the same sort of space? There  are times that the grief is too great, and even as we try to pray, exhaustion takes over, and sleep finds a welcomed win. The disciples, though Jesus had told them what would take place, could likely not wrap their hearts and minds around it all. They were in the throes of the suffering and sorrow-filled part, and could not yet see the glorious hope that would come after the horror Jesus was about to endure. Incredibly, Jesus continued to pray. When Judas and his entourage of Sanhedrin and soldiers arrived to have Jesus arrested, Jesus continued to love as He healed the ear that an over-zealous disciple cut off in His defense. He went willingly, without argument nor needed force, for love led Him to the cross at Calgary.
I paused writing to go run, and ended up having a great discussion about the potential disparity between the four accounts of the disciples’ time in the garden. My running bestie is a nurse, so she reminded me that Luke was a doctor. Between us, we recognized that the other accounts were recorded by fishermen, who likely felt bad for falling asleep, and simply recorded that alone. Luke, however, from a physician’s standpoint, was the most likely to recognize the toll that grief and sorrow take on the body, and reported the occurrence accordingly. Like me, she had not ever noticed the difference in the accounts of what took place, but together, we discussed how it indeed made sense. Many of us find ourselves in a similar space of grief or sorrow. There is loss that we are uncertain how to process, and that weighs heavily, no matter how much we pray. Perhaps this forced slow down season is meant for more than just protecting ourselves from the further spread of a pandemic; maybe, just maybe, this is a season where we are to allow our bodies to sleep when we can fight it no longer, rest up, reflect on what truly matters, and rise up renewed and refreshed, as Jesus carried it all for us and rose again. May we give ourselves grace in our moments of sorrow, grief and exhaustion, and look to the Lord who is the One who strengthens, renews and grants us what we need to rise up restored, once again.
In grief’s heaviness,

The Weight of Grief

Sculpture by Celeste Roberge

We’re burdened and worn;
Exhausted and spent,
In sorrow, forlorn.
Our bodies in need,
Of overdue rest;
Sometimes a shut down,
When sleep is the best.
God knows all our needs,
He loves us with grace;
Refreshes, renews,
And brings brighter days.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that You sent Your Son to show us Your goodness and grace, even in humanity’s most exhausted spaces. Thank You that You love us back to life again, even when our weariness from loss steals our resolve to rise and fight. Forgive us for thinking that we can somehow power through things without giving room for grief. Teach us to lean into You to show us how to properly process, rest and rise again in all that You are calling us to do. Lead us to love others well, so that their burdens may be lessened and their sorrow’s shortened. May many come into a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, as we come to You in our heaviness and seek You for rest and refreshment as You restore and renew us in You. Amen.
My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word. – Psalm 119:28

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Called to Forgiveness

Come on now, let’s walk and talk; let’s work this out. Your wrong doings are blood red, but they can turn as white as snow. Your sins are red like crimson, but they can be made clean again like new wool. – (Isaiah 1:18, VOICE)

“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as snow.” – (Isaiah 1:18, NLT)

 

God is constantly calling us unto Himself. He woos us when we go astray, and wants to lead us in the way we are meant to go so that we can be restored to right relationship with Him. Our part is to receive what He is offering – His forgiveness, His love, His light and His life, so that we may live free from the weight of our sin and shame. It is not a free pass to bounce back and forth, but it is the grace to restore our place of right standing before God when we mess up or find ourselves in a space we never intended to go. God is good and loves us no matter where we are or what condition our hearts and lives are in. If we call on Him, He will listen to our every cry. May we ever seek the Lord and receive the forgiveness and grace that He offers as we choose to place our trust in Him.

 

Seek walk with the Lord, Hope in Discouragement

For there, you’ll find grace;

Forgiveness of sins,

A right standing place.

All that we’ve done wrong,

Is made white as snow;

When confessed to God,

In His grace, we grow.

Where sins are no more,

We’re suddenly free;

To walk in His way,

His plan clearly seen.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that when we seek You and confess our sin before You, You forgive us and wash us clean as if we have never sinned. Thank You for the overwhelming power of Your forgiveness and grace, as You make us new in You. Forgive us for the times that we forget how much forgiveness has been extended to us, and are not gracious or merciful to those around us. Teach us to trust You more, so that we would seek You for forgiveness and for the ability to forgive others. Show us how to love those around us in a way that extends Your mercy and grace, so that they may come to know and understand the depth of Your love. May many come into a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, as we receive and give the amazing grace that You give to us. Amen.

 

© Shannon Elizabeth Moreno and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

 

The joy of the Lord is your strength. – Nehemiah 8:10