How Long?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? – (Psalm 13:2a, NIV)

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word. – (Psalm 119:28, NIV)

How much longer must I cling to this constant grief? I’ve endured this shaking of my soul. – (Psalm 13:2a, TPT)

My life’s strength melts away with grief and sadness; come and strengthen me and encourage me with Your words. – (Psalm 119:28, TPT)

 

I have set aside personal reflection for public view on the shift in schooling for quite some time, due largely in part to weight of my own sorrow. You see, not only is this the loss of concluding this school year with my students, but it is my own children’s senior year, and the second spring in a row that I have been absent from both. Last year, two weeks from now, our entire world came to a crashing halt. My mom suffered a massive stroke, and we were unsure of what the outcome would be. Immediately, my husband and I made the drive over the mountains to be with her, and I made arrangements to take a leave of absence to remain with mom, as Mark returned home to be with our kids. Mom is a fighter, and did remarkably well as my sister and I were able be with her around the clock, and after all of my years of teaching, I had plenty of leave to stay on through the majority of the remaining school year. Because mom was thriving and making gains, I did not give myself room to grieve. Now, nearly a year later, I am in an entirely different circumstance, yet in a similar space of loss. There have been moments of sorrow and grief, but I have given little time or space to ponder or process. Then, yesterday, as I returned to school for my designated twenty minutes to pick up any supplies I might need from my classroom, the weight of reality began to set in. Silent hallways and classrooms without kids running around, laughing, or talking to one another, left a hollow void in my heart.

My friend and colleague has a remarkable way with capturing in words, moments, so eloquently, and when I read what she posted on Facebook as a reflection of her twenty minutes in her classroom, I found myself fighting back the sting of tears. It took deep, intentional breaths to not fully succumb to the depth of sorrow I was feeling as I read what she had written. My own boys had been in her very first sixth grade class, and she recognized and grieved for those seniors too. There is just so much…

The beauty in the brokenness is that we are not stuck in it. God is faithful to pick us up, dust us off, and grant us fresh resolve. He does strengthen us, and today, my goal and focus is to be prepared for our launch of distance learning, come Monday morning. Additionally, today is my day to email a check-in to my art students, so that holds some hope and joy as well. In all things, God has a way of bringing beauty from ashes. I look forward to seeing how all of this season changes our neighborhood, schools, city, state, and nation for the better.

 

Hollow empty halls,

That mirror my heart;

Loss of what should be,

This season apart.

Such sorrow in loss,

Of all that could be;

Lord help us rise up,

As Your hope sets free.

Even in losses,

You can bring gains;

Beauty from ashes,

For Your love remains.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that You hold us as we wrestle through our sorrow and heaviness, and You strengthen us with resolve once again. Thank You that You truly do bring beauty from ashes, and hope from despair. Forgive us for allow ourselves to sit in our sorrow too long, or for ignoring it and allowing the weight to burden us. Teach us to place all in Your hands, so that You can walk us through it into the good that You have in store for us. Show us how to love those around us well, even though we cannot see people the way we want to right now. May many come into a lasting relationship with You, and know the comfort and peace that You alone offer. Be glorified O God, as we seek Your comfort and strength in our sorrow, and anticipate the good that lies ahead. Amen.

 

© Shannon Elizabeth Grabrick and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

 

“…He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for His own glory.” – Isaiah 61:3

May We Be Unoffendable

Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourself with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. – (Colossians 3:12, NLT)

God has chosen you and made you His holy people. He loves you. So, your new life should be like this: Show mercy to others. Be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. – (Colossians 3:12, ERV)

You are always dearly loved by God! So, robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy. Be merciful as you endeavor to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others. – (Colossians 3:12, TPT)

 

Because we are loved by God, we ought to go and love likewise. In order to love as He loves us, we must show mercy to others, extend kindness to all, be gentle and humble, and be unoffendable in our patience with others. Each of these are clear, and are relatively simple to do, until they are not. Our mercy, compassion, kindness, gentleness and patience often come to a crashing halt if we are offended by another. Rather than recognize that we are all humans that fall short and fail, it becomes personal and bitterness attempts to creep in. When this occurs, I have to stop and think about how offensive I must be to God at times, and yet, He still loves me the same. It is because of His mercy and kindness, patience and gentleness with me, that I eventually recognize the ridiculousness in my own sensitivity to offense. There are times that safety and security dictate that we distance ourselves from one who offends, however, if we cling to the offense rather than He who grants us grace, the wrong will lead to our ruin. May we ever seek our Savior who has called us His own and lavishes us in His love, so that we may go forth and extend mercy as we seek to understand, be compassionate, show kindness to all, be gentle and humble, and be patient with others, not allowing offenses to limit how we choose to love.

 

We have been chosen,

Photo by Dee Jones of Open Door Photography ❤

Beloved of God;

To go forth in love,

As by faith, we trod.

Be clothed in mercy,

Extend kindness too;

Humble and gentle,

As He is with you.

Let not offenses,

Take patience away;

But rather seek Him,

To love and give grace.

May we see clearly,

How well He loves us;

So we do likewise,

By His grace choose love.

 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that You chose us and You love us without limits. Thank You that You are not offended by our faults and failures, but rather You love us to life again. Thank You that You call and equip us to do the same for those around us. Forgive us for allowing offenses to limit our love. Teach us to trust You more, so that we would walk in forgiveness and grace, ever extending mercy, compassion and patience as we humbly seek to understand others with kindness. Show us how to love like this so that many will recognize You heart within us. May many come into a lasting relationship with You. Be glorified O God, as we praise You for the mercy and grace that You give to us in love and lead us to rely on You to go forth and do likewise. Amen.

 

© Shannon Elizabeth Moreno and Revelations in Writing, May 2011 – present

 

Listen… be wise, and keep your heart on the right path. – Proverbs 23:19