Forever Faithful Father

Though this morning’s message was designed for and directed to the men – the words that were spoken went straight to my soul. 
The reminder that there seem to be stages as we walk out our own journey, pressed a finger on specific points lying buried in the cavern of my heart.  There have been promises spoken over my life.  Good words of great hope and encouragement.  Some of these promises I have seen come to pass, and I celebrate the blessings that their fulfillment has brought into my life.  There are other promises, one in particular, that I have been waiting on for years.  More than eight years of waiting, trusting, hoping, praying and fearing as to when it will come to pass.  I know that God is good.  I know His word is true.  I know that He will never leave me or forsake me.  Yet, here I am, still waiting…
To walk forward in faith requires much trust and personal sacrifice.  Each new day, I attempt to place one foot in front of the other in a forward direction, despite fear of failure or messing it up somehow.  Am I trusting Him completely?  Am I fixing my eyes on the dream, or on the Fulfiller of dreams? 
Sometimes, it is only on the dream.  It is in those moments that discouragement and disillusionment attempt to overtake the newly exposed pockets of vulnerability and openness; places in which I am asked to sacrifice my illusion of strength and allow Him to break my heart for what breaks His.  I am called to allow my own vulnerability to be visible so that He may mend the hurts that lie hidden deep within my heart.  When I permit these places again to be hidden, I am limiting God in how He can do what He needs to do to bring forth the promise spoken, to the present.
There are times, moments – when my eyes are fixed securely on Him.  It is in these moments that I am given glimpses of what will one day be.  A peek into the promise He whispered to my heart so long ago. 
God is not slow to answer – He is patient.  He is lovingly waiting for me to give Him permanent access to the places I keep trying to hide.  He is bringing healing and hope.  I am reluctant to release my shell of “safety” that protects my vulnerability from being viewed.  This natural need to escape emotion, rather than to risk running through it, is slowly being severed.  Even this morning, as I was seated and listening to the words being spoken, God was whispering the application points to me personally.  His gentle finger pointing precisely to the points of pain, and His hands extended, anticipating my obedience.  Internally, I was completely gutted.  Externally, the facade of “fine” found its place, again covering my countenance. 
The pockets of internal brokenness are creeping ever closer to escape.  As I extend my hands back toward His, I find His arms awaiting embrace.  Freedom to find my Father’s lap and bury my face in His chest – favor to fold in His strength as mine is completely undone.  These steps of surrender are propelling me ever closer to the promise.  Each step toward my loving Father, brings more previews to the promise fulfillment.  I am so grateful for His ongoing grace as I go.  To Him, and all those He has provided to be His hands and His heart as earthly fathers – Happy Father’s Day. 

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